No matter who you are, if you are honest with yourselves, you are going to want to go somewhere now and then to relax in complete solitude. We all need to do this whether we want to or not, as the results show that it helps to reenergize ourselves. I call this unique place, which is a sanctuary for you, your personal “safe harbor”.  Believe me, it’s a great place to visit and if you have ever been to one you would gladly agree with me on this assessment.

I must warn you that this issue may strike a nerve in some people as they will resent the idea that you may want to go away to a place without them. You can include them as that is your choice and some people do so, but most of the time this process entails you going along where you can have more concentration.

However, in order for your “safe harbor” to be appreciated you have to get away from the comfort zone of your current surroundings.  Once you to do so, this will enable you to open the closed blinds  in your life to allow the sun to come in. Plus, after being in this special location for some time you may not want to come back so soon and can’t wait to do it again. And if you do, I’ll understand because I’m on my way in doing the same and I ‘m encouraging you to do also.

It’s not spoken often but we all would want to have a “safe harbor” place to go to in order to wind down.  In escaping to your “safe harbor”, you get to refresh your mind, take a deep breath from dealing with all the ups and downs of  life, and to also calm down your nerves.

However, to some people staying home and going into your man’s cave gives them that personal sanctuary feeling. In this case,  you can go into your bathroom, the outside deck, in your sunroof, and  in your basement, if you have one.  These places are fine, but since you can get interrupted easily from the people in your home, it doesn’t represent a “safe harbor“. In my opinion, you can’t get the peace and tranquility atmosphere that I’m talking about at home.   Once you are able to exit from your home, much of that anxiety feeling that you have been carrying around will disappear. In other words, you have to depart from your  residence to achieve this mindset of peace and relaxation.

You need to know that the “safe harbor“ is more about allowing your positive thinking to take over and your stress level to dissipate. You are probably carrying around more stress than you realize and just don’t know it. In this place,  you get that opportunity to  put a lot of things into their proper perspective, which you normally wouldn’t do at home because you don’t have the time to do so.

If you are not aware of such a place that is too bad. There are just too many of us who try to handle all the different aspects of our life without taking a break to unwind.  When we have a nervous breakdown from this occurrence no one can figure out why. However, in having a “safe harbor” destination, it can change the shape of our lives in so many positive ways we wonder why we didn’t do this before.

Your “safe harbor” location will be quite different from mine, but that’s okay as everyone gets to have their special place that they can go to in order to unwind.  This place is so necessary that we will make any type of excuse to get there as we need that time to recharge ourselves mentally.

To be honest. in going to this special location, you will feel absolutely safe that you can discuss whatever is bothering you, with your other safe harbor acquaintances, who are there for the same reasons as you. To spend time with others who share the same interest as you, this is very important to each of us, and that’s why the contents of the conversations are kept in complete confidence.

Additionally, the topics that are discussed in your “safe harbor” location are personal and there is no fear that your comments will be talked about beyond that place. It’s because of this clear understanding among all who come to this place of refuge that makes this bonding place so unique.

For many of the men that I know, their “safe harbor ” it’s the local barber shop, it’s the pool hall, it’s the basketball night out with the boys, it’s the golf outings, it’s the bowling outings, it’s the car race track, to the gym for a workout, it’s the out-of-town seminar updates, and so on. These are all types of “safe harbor” places for some men, and they enjoy these interactions with their peers tremendously.

However, the “safe harbor” places for the women are plentiful as well.  But since I’m not allowed to go into their places of refuge, and they are not permitted to come into ours, I won’t try to explain what goes on in their safe harbor establishments. What I can say with some certainty, is that men are not invited into their places  and you better not show up at a woman’s “safe harbor” because you will get thrown out on your butt.

You may ask, why are you bringing up this point about visiting our “safe harbor”?

I learned about this process when I was very young, but I didn’t fully understand what a “safe harbor” place meant until I got older. I recall my first safe harbor place was the tree house that my brother and I built in our backyard. My brother was very good at building things, and I was good at bringing the goodies for us to eat. Those moments that we shared with each other was priceless and was very special to the both of us. I’ll never forget those early days, as we are older now, and have unfortunately gotten away from spending time together at our “safe harbor” places together.

When I was younger, I always went to the basketball court to play for hours as that was my “safe harbor” place. I would stay all day perfecting my jump shot until my older brother came to drag me home. Playing basketball was my first true love, and it is still today and that was a long time ago. It was my safe harbor destination, as no one was there to disturb me and I loved it.  I had no one to criticize me which meant the most to me at those early years. I had a basketball and a court to play on all by myself for hours into the night.  In those late evenings playing by myself, I also got a chance to dream that I would someday make it out of the rough inner city environment, where we lived. And I did so years later, but my original ideas were formulated in my  “safe harbor” place which was the basketball court at night in my old neighborhood.

As I grew older, my other “safe harbor”  was this small church called St. Timothy Holiness Church in Brooklyn, New York. This was a wonderful place where I found other young people like myself who wanted to do something with their lives besides stealing cars and robbing people for fun, which was the thing to do at that time. At this small church, we help in developing a free food program for the underprivileged families, which gave me a new purpose in my life. I discovered that I loved doing things that uplifted others so I continued doing deeds that helped the community. We also helped in creating a youth work-study program out of the small church to help get teens a job.  It was through that program that helped underprivileged families that were experiencing financial problems to get some relief. Although it was some years ago, those memories of that “safe harbor” place will always be dear to me.

Well, that is enough about me, and my “safe harbor” places of enjoyment, what about your place?

Is there a place that you have gone to that gives you that feeling of stress-free solitude? If not, you need to work on getting  one shortly as  it will allow you to experience a level of comfort that I’m talking about. No matter how old you get in having a “safe harbor” place to go to, especially when you are going through a difficult time in your life,  I believe this will help you as it did for me.

In closing, going to a “safe harbor”  it gives you the opportunity to get out of your normal setting and to go to a place where you can get some mental relief. It also will allow you to speak with other “safe harbor” constituents, if applicable, who may have some good suggestions on how to handle your issues of concern, as you may help them with theirs. And if being alone works best for you, this place provides that for you also. Now that I’m older and understand the purpose of  going to a “safe harbor” and what it will do for you in terms of recharging your mental attitude about yourselves, I try to go to  whenever I can, Consequently, I believe that you should do the same.  And if you do, I won’t have to remind you again to go to your “safe harbor”, you will do it on your own.